Fred Ata

I developed the concepts behind my self-portraits and my love for photography during my undergraduate years at the University of Massachusetts at Lowell. The foundation from which my photographs are derived, initially rely on experiences I have gone through as a child. Certain experiences, triggering mixed emotions, seem to permanently inhabit my mind. Whether these experiences are accurate recollections or lethargic memories, I cannot be sure. I do not feel that the knowledge of my experiences is of great importance for the understanding of my photographs. I would more enjoy evoking personal experiences which belong to the viewer, in retrospect, allowing the viewer to share in the emotions I was going through. Once an idea for a photograph is in transit, I allow it to transform with respect to surrounding stimulus. The original vision of a photograph might not be what I necessarily end up with. I have turned to nude self-portraits to address issues such as low self-esteem, social awkwardness and gender roles. I attempt to turn my body, which might not fall under the category of beautiful or idealistic, into a vulnerable sheath which is still capable of emitting beauty. Issues of gender roles are brought up through my shooting style and props. Setting up unexpected situations, I do not represent myself in a typically masculine way. In my more recent photographs, I have been positioning my body in more vigorous stances. These photographs stem from the struggle to deal with my cross-cultural upbringing, belonging to two cultures and not feeling accepted by either. I hope to portray the battles I have assimilating myself with my exterior surroundings. Lately the ideas of loss have been fueling and inspiring me to create. For me it has to do with specific loss, including relations one might have with other people in their lives or the fear of losing a homeland. The photographs deal with the feeling of emptiness and solitude and hopefully having the strength to maintain stability and balance. For this reason, my feet and legs emerge in much of my work. Although most of my work consists of self-portraits, I do not intend the photographs to represent my sole interactions with the world, but hope to portray the human condition and society in a broader sense. Since diagnosing myself as a borderline mute, I've allowed my photographs to do the talking for me. I understand that they might not always make sense to the viewer, nor do I expect them to. How often do people understand one another through verbal communication anyways? I consider that sometimes it is more helpful to just feel what another person is going through rather than disputing their emotions and wondering whether or not the way they feel is justified. Photography has supplied me with the comfort and freedom to express my ideas and interactions more openly.